Thursday, June 24, 2010

Who Tyler Myers Forgot to Thank

So you've seen it, or if you haven't don't worry, I'll embed it, but don't you even begin to think Tyler Myers was done with that speech. It's one thing to play off Jay Mohr and his God awful impressions of people who are actually funny, another thing to play off poor 20 year old Tyler Myers.

Tyler wanted to also thank many more people, before he was rudely Spike TV'd off the stage (after a sloppy Mark Wahlberg whored him to begin with). Let's see who he forgot.

1. Tyler wanted to thank the rest of his teammates; especially Pat Kaleta, ensuring he wasn't the ugliest guy on the roster.
2. Tyler wants to wish Hank Tallinder good luck in free agency, but hopes he comes back, he doesn't want to have to stand next to Roy and Gerbe in the team photo.
3. He didn't want to forget Derek Roy, for consistently making an ass out of himself on Chippewa so people don't bother him.
4. He wanted to thank Lindy Ruff for giving him the chance to stick with the big club, and he just loves the way his mustache tickles.
5. Myers wants James Patrick to know that he appreciates him acting like the "cool dad" and totally not busting him for all the beers in the back of the plane.
6. Myers missed out on the opportunity to thank Manute Bol for teaching him the finer nuances of skating on his edges.
7. He wanted to thank the Jolly Green Giant; for paving the way for future Ents.
8. He wanted to thank Eklund for not adding his name to any rumors yesterday.
9. He wanted to thank the voters for overlooking the fact that he led the league in giveaways.
10. He also wanted to thank United airlines for the added headroom on his flight.
11. He wanted to thank Landon Donovan for breaking Twitter today; he really hates Twitter.
12. He wanted to thank Abraham Lincoln, for freeing the slaves.
13. Tyler forgot to add during his speech thanks to Ryan Huska, his coach at Kelowna, for teaching him how to pronounce Kelowna.
14. Wanted to thank grandpa for pulling his teeth out with pliers.
15. Wanted to thank his middle school gym teacher for telling him white people don't succeed at basketball; try hockey.
16. Myers wanted to thank Office Depot for the premium multipurpose paper; and the gel ink pen, he really liked the way they worked together.

One last note; on his way out pretty sure he told Luke Schenn "nanny nanny boo boo, I beat you." I'm not sure how that makes sense, but it does, it does.

Did you happen to hear any more of Tyler's thanks? Throw 'em in the comments.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Brooks & Dunn No Nothin' Bout Hockey

 But hell if they aren't some cool dudes for pullin' this little stunt in Hershey.

Caught wind of this over at JapersRink. Awesome find.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Joel Quenneville: PWND

From the lovely folks at TMZ, seriously, yeah, I get emails from TMZ, hell if I know why, but I do.  Oh, did I say lovely? I meant scumbags (think I'll still get these emails?  Guess we'll see).  But anyways; instead of digging up dirty laundry on anybody and everybody, this is just some cheeky fun.

After the Cup win, looks like some puerile individuals decided to unload Charmin in his front yard.  'Spose it could be worse, at least he doesn't have to clean up Tallon's mess, that's Stan Bowman's job.

And Just Like That; Hockey's Over

Last night ended it all.  On May 21st the ECHL season ended, on May 23rd the Juniors season ended, on June 9th the NHL season came to a close, then last night, June 14th, the AHL season came to an end, and just like that, we're stuck with watching soccer.

Growing up in Hershey it's always great to see the Bears succeed, let alone put together arguably the greatest season in AHL history.  In that video, you basically want to see the very beginning, then right around the 5:00 mark, especially you Pens fans, when Chris Bourque is named Playoff MVP.

Monday, June 14, 2010

So You Want to Be A Mascot, eh?

Well, I spose here's you chance. The Philadelphia Flyers' AHL affiliate, the Adirondack Phantoms needs their next "Director of Fun and Community Development." Seriously, that's a salaried position, and now, it could be yours!

Hi, yes, I'd like a number 8...around. BAZINGA!

The description's after the break, no?

Thursday, June 10, 2010

A Bridesmaid No More

If you didn't at least crack a smile when his boys were pushing him over to take the Cup from Captain Serious, then wow, you're a bigger dick than even I am. And I've got a, I mean, I'm a pretty big dick.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

The NHL & Twitter

So now Bloomberg is now claiming to be "social media experts", (them and 95% of other unemployed journalists) putting together this short piece on Twitter and the NHL. (Worst lede ever? I don't care.)

First mistake; trying to ask Dan Carcillo anything about technology, you're more apt to get a knowledgeable answer out of Paris Hilton on abstinence than anything remotely intelligible from that Cro-magnon.

Most active NHL Players on Twitter? Well, I guess David Perron and Mike Commodore, guess that's just the nature of the soft-spoken Canadian boy eh?

Friday, June 4, 2010

Calder Cup Preview

What was I thinking? Not even posting a link on here. Sheesh.

Anyways, if you haven't, check out my piece on Puck Daddy featuring the Hershey Bears and the Calder Cup finals.

And yes, last night Texas stole game 1 behind a Canadien-esque defensive effort. Tomorrow is game 2.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Versus President Speaks on Fox Business News

So I'm not sure anybody saw this, but I did. And now you will, you. are. welcome.

Some of the points are interesting, but to say you're "super serving" hockey fans, and that Versus is becoming a destination for hockey fans might be a stretch. Though it's certainly an interesting look at the growing cable company and their strategy and mission moving forward. That is, it's interesting if you're a total nerd.

Psssst, you are.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Wayne Must Be Cash Strapped

As here he is, shilling for Nintendo Wii, and the "first hockey stick accessory" ever for that God forsaken should only be played by infants and senile grandparents console.

Oh by the way, hey Wayne, what the hell are you watching? Seeing as how neither your TV, or Wii is currently plugged in. Looks like somebody is a creeper.
Fact: BanginPanger is not meant as an insult to the one and only Darren Pang, nor do I claim to be him. The views and opinions presented on BanginPanger are of my own, and no other namesake of the site, the NHL, Buffalo Sabres, Washington Capitals, or anyone else.