Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Kyle Okposo & Trick Daddy; Similarities

Apparently; check out the banner page for the New York Islanders website today. That my friends; is definitely a gold tooth. For posterity's sake, totally screen grabbed it.

Yeah, click the image. Supersize that bitch. With the crack team of forensic scientists here at BanginPanger, we've enlarged the image 500% just to show how crunk Kyle Okposo really is.

With a simple color grabber tool; that my friends, is a gold tooth. That; my friends; is hilarious.

Wonder if he got that after Phaneuf laid his ass out during the preseason? I sure hope so. Or even better, wonder if the Isles graphics guru decided that in honor of Jersey Shore he'd throw some bling in there, maybe attract some fans? Eh? Eh? Or maybe it's his mouthguard, or so I'm told it could be. If so, lame Kyle. Very lame.

And no, I didn't alter the image. Sheesh. My photoshops are far less subtle and much more inappropriate and random.

Ouch; Boom Goes The...Face?

An unfortunate turn of events for Jack Hillen last night, as he made the honorable, courageous, and ultimately devastating decision to drop down in front of an Ovechkin slapshot.

The Islanders website gave this update this morning.
Islanders' defenseman Jack Hillen will miss the next 6-8 weeks with a broken jaw and damaged teeth. After taking an Alex Ovechkin slap-shot to the face last night, Hillen was rushed to hospital for further evaluation. He was in surgery last night and into the morning to insert plates into his jaw.
If I recall, this is the 2nd major facial this year; with Ian Laperriere taking the goods right on the lips; breaking 7 teeth. I guess there's a reason the population of Pominville is high, a lot of force behind that blast.

As for Hillen, he wasn't as lucky as Lappy. It's never good to see something like this happen, but I'm not above making semen jokes at the expense of the situation. Wish Hillen a speedy recovery, and would like to commend him on his balls. They are mighty big balls.

Also, notice how Ovechkin really shows some remorse for the situation. See Pens fans, he's not evil.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010


Because dammit; this one is good.

From the Buffalo News:

Monday's second period ended with two classic Ruff poses: the finger-pointing obscenity shout followed by the arms-crossed staredown. Both were directed at referee Kerry Fraser.

So folks; what do you think Lindy Ruff is sayin' to Mr. Fraser? Oh, if you haven't seen the video of the tomfoolery that had any Sabre fan up after midnight, ie Me, pissed all sorts of off; watch from the 5:00 to 7:00 minute marks.

Now you should know what to do with the Dialogue; fire out people. As always; I'll go first.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Hit of the Weekend

Nobody knows who Jean-Francois Jacques is; but what I do know is that this camera angle makes his hit seem far cooler than it actually was.

But I'll be damned if that wasn't cool. Maybe the Oiler's unis make it that much more throwback. Who knows, anyway, you all realize I'm punting on this post so whatevs.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Jose, Can You See?

Let it be known; from here forward; that Karl Alzner is a better goaltender than Jose Theodore.

The collective head shaking at the Puck Daddy - Japers Rink shitshow during that play could have, and should have, set records.

By the way, expect an epic post this afternoon full of all kinds of stats, that are now obsolete because of the games last night. Son of a bitch.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Yeah This Is Ok

Brian Elliot proving his worth and inability to stickhandle all in one magnificent play. All the while LeClaire sits and eats donuts. Tsk. Tsk.

Monday, January 18, 2010

A Couple of Ugly Incidents In Just A Few Days

First off, prayers out to Mikael Tam, who took a flying elbow from the top rope and fell into a seizure. Canada's World Junior Captain, Patrice Cormier, apparently still upset with the loss, took out his frustration with a completely unnecessary cheap shot that will probably get him suspended for longer than Rouyn-Noranda or the New Jersey Devils would like. Here's the hit.

And for the other, we have Windsor's Zack Kassian, the Sabres 1st rounder from last years draft, laying a flying shoulder which makes Gonchar feel like a pussy. Not nearly as devastating as Cormier's hit, but still completely unnecessary. Here's the video on that one.

The fact that both these hits are entirely dirty isn't the only thing they have in common. Both these guys; Cormier and Kassian, were recently acquired by these Junior teams as rentals. That was just Cormier's 3rd game with the Rouyn-Noranda Huskies (of the QMJHL) and it was Kassian's 2nd with the Windsor Spitfires. It's pretty obvious that these guys were both trying to set an example for their new teammates, and it's pretty obvious that they both failed. If either one of them see the ice again in Juniors, it'll be a surprise to me.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

This Is Tongue In Cheek...Right?

Honestly, this guy makes "Crying Giants Fan" look reasonable, at least the Giants had a semblance of talent. Ok, well, nobody can make Crying Giants Fan look reasonable, but at least as not as delusional as "Hungry Irrational Leafs Fan #4533211".


I feel like we should all leave this guy comments, or at least give him the web celebrity status he so violently craves.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

More MSM Grief: Mike Wise Edition

If you're not from DC, you won't know who Mike Wise is, nor should you really care at all. But he is a pretty prominent Washington Post columnist, and as of this past Summer, a radio host for 106.7 The Fan. That was all well and good because it was all Redskins, all the time. Well, it's the winter now, and guess who runs this town; yeah, the Capitals.

It's funny how that kind of success can change a town. How does Mike Wise enter this conversation, and why should you non-Caps fans care? Well, it's about respect. Frankly, we can all pretty well agree that us hockey fans are pretty much treated like the ginger step child of the major sports world. The World Wide Leader shuns us, NBC/Versus runs us, basically, hockey, and it's fans, can be just an afterthought.

So when somebody like Mike Wise, who has a major platform to speak, both in the traditional failing media, and over the broadcast airwaves, you'd hope he'd try to champion the most successful franchise in the city he works. Instead, we get a rather ignorant (but he calls "light-hearted," of course this man is also very fond of Gilbert Arenas, so make your inferences from there [SUCK THAT JUDGEMENT WISE]) response to a caller asking why the 27-11-6 Caps don't get as much play as the 4-12 'Skins or the 12-23 Wizards (see where this is goin?); how's he respond? "With all due respect, it's hockey."

Oooooooooooh BOOM ROASTED CONSTITUENTS OF HIS RADIO SHOW! YOU JUST GOT BITCH SLAPPED! Personally, I like the Cristobal Huet reference, 2 years after he left the team.

You know what else I like, posting yet another reason why the print business is failing, as these out of touch monoliths of a forgotten industry who can't adapt, or don't want to, spout off their opinions as if anyone really gives a damn. And sir, that is why people are pissed at you.

See now he's getting exactly what he wants, he gets the extra publicity now and later eventually everything will blow over and his show will go back to being all 'Skins all the time. And this cycle will just be destined to repeat itself. If I truly cared, I'd throw up an email address (best I can do is this, what kind of wanker doesn't post his email address on his articles?), maybe even a twitter account (, but I really don't care that much.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Back From Buffalo

After 965.5 miles, about 32 gallons of discontinued Tiger Gatorade, another 47 gallons of beer, and maybe 67 in gas, BanginPanger's trip to Buffalo is over. I'm back in the office, and dammit, that makes me feel like ass.

But hey, we had a good time. The journey started in DC, pit stopped in Pittsburgh, through redneck PA/NY and ended up in an Embassy Suites in Buffalo. You know who else ended up at that same hotel? The Colorado Avalanche.

Well we couldn't comprehend it that early in the morning. But when you're standing in line with giant white guys in suits, you kind of suspect something. Ryan O'Reilly apparently enjoys the same kind of omelets I do, OMG THEY'RE LIKE REAL PEOPLE. OMG BEST BREAKFAST BUFFET EVAR!

Thanks to Isabella, the kind and unfortunate soul who had to clean up after us, we found out TJ Galiardi was our neighbor in 408. If only we would've had some fiber optic cable and a webcam, we could've Erin Andrews-ed that guy into Deadspin infamy. Instead we only had afternoon beers and clamored for TJ to wake up and join; he didn't. Apparently he takes those Do Not Disturb signs really seriously.

But all those odds and ends didn't equate to the 4 new friendships we made; Ghislain Hebert, Kevin Pollock, Brad Kovachik, and Mark Shewchyk. Yes, the refs and linesmen. I surely hope that our antics, posturing, and boos didn't compromise our working relationship. Now it wasn't that they sucked one way, no they sucked both ways. They sucked like woah. They Toronto Maple Leaf sucked. But see, I assumed that refs and linesmen were kinda like the British guards, wouldn't smile and acknowledge fan existence at all. Well boy were we wrong. Mid-way through the 2nd period, shortly after Kevin Pollock calls this penalty for something or other, who the hell knows why, he skates over to the glass and linesmen Brad Kovachik comes over to chat. Enter the four of us. Things were shouted, dance moves were made, Pollock cracks a wide grin, but Brad, oh Brad, we were just having fun. There was no need to tell us to "Sit the f*ck down." We run a tight ship here, we would never do or say anything that would warrant such an outburst. Oh but Brad, you totally made our night. I made you this of a picture I took of me and Mr. Pollock, it reminds me of the night, since I don't remember much.

Even though that game ended in a 22 shooter shootout loss for the boys in blue and gold, it was fun, and totally worth it. Now if only I could get seats like that for every game. Oh wait, I can't. Damn.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Just Down the Hershey Highway; Check Out This Goal

Hat tip to John Walton, from, the radio voice of the AHL's Hershey Bears, for getting this clip. It's from a high school hockey game in Central PA. Imagine that, in Hershey. Clip comes from a game between the Hershey Trojans (my high school's rival; nothin' beats a broken Trojan, eh?) and Lampeter-Strasburg Pioneers (Amish, don't let them fool you), and man, it's a pretty solid one.

This kid puts on a sick move and makes that poor Amish goalie (if you knew where Lampeter - Strasburg was, you'd know) look like ToskaLOL. PEEP THE VID.

Fun fact: My cousin plays on the Hershey high team. Fun fact: He didn't score that goal. Fun Fact: I gave him shit for not scoring said goal.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Your 2009-2010 Season Workhorses

Every year we talk about how ridiculous it is the amount of games that certain goaltenders play. Yeah we're lookin' at you Marty and Kipper. But what about this year? Half way through the season I figured it'd be a pretty opportune time to take a look at the netminders putting in ridiculous amounts of time between the pipes, as a percentage of their total team's games played. Make sense? It better.

What have I got for you? How 'bout 69 (HOW FORTUITOUS!) goalies (Michael Leighton had to be included twice, as he effed up the entire spreadsheet by being picked up by Philadelphia) arranged by their percentage of games played. And yes, Martin Brodeur is still leading the league in this, even better, Mike Brodeur is dead last. BOOYAH!

(For reference, GP is games played, TGP is Team's Games Played)

Martin Brodeur NJD3840 95%261012.2092.0%
Jonathan Quick LAK394391%231332.5690.7%
Henrik LundqvistNYR384290%181452.4192.0%
Miikka Kiprusoff CGY364188%211052.1692.8%
Evgeni NabokovSJS374386%23672.3592.2%
Ilya BryzgalovPHX374386%221142.0392.7%
Ryan MillerBUF354185%23 832.0293.4%
Marc-Andre Fleury PIT364384%221312.5890.5%
Craig AndersonCOL364384%201052.6891.6%
Roberto Luongo VAN3542 83%211212.2592.1%
Niklas BackstromMIN354283%181432.5890.7%
Tomas VokounFLA324276%121272.6892.2%
Steve Mason CBJ324374%111463.1889.5%
Cristobal HuetCHI 314274%19822.1291.1%
Marty Turco DAL304173%13982.6691.1%
Chris MasonSTL 284168%111252.6590.7%
Pekka Rinne NSH284267%16722.7490.6%
Dwayne Roloson NYI284365%15762.7991.2%
Jonas Hiller ANA274264%121222.9191.3%
Carey PriceMTL284464%101432.6291.6%
Cam Ward CAR264163%61453.0290.1%
Jimmy HowardDET254161%14822.2092.3%
Tim Thomas BOS254161%11952.3692.0%
Mike Smith TBL254161%91062.8990.6%
Ondrej PavelecATL254161%91133.5290.3%
Brian ElliottOTT234255%10932.7090.2%
Jeff DeslauriersEDM234255%91222.8690.6%
Johan HedbergATL224154%9632.6291.4%
Pascal LeclaireOTT 224252%11712.9589.1%
Jonas GustavssonTOR224252%7772.8290.7%
Ray Emery PHI214151%11812.8390.1%
Jose TheodoreWSH214151%9643.0589.6%
Vesa Toskala TOR204248%6823.7286.9%
Dan EllisNSH194245%9712.7990.8%
Chris OsgoodDET184144%7642.7290.1%
Antero NiittymakiTBL 184144%7542.4691.9%
Nikolai KhabibulinEDM 184243%7923.0390.9%
Jean-Sebastien GiguereANA184243%4753.0689.9%
Tuukka RaskBOS174141%10421.9293.4%
Brian BoucherPHI174141%41112.8489.6%
Jaroslav HalakMTL184441%11602.6492.2%
Mathieu GaronCBJ174340%4532.8290.4%
Martin BironNYI174340%21123.2290.0%
Semyon VarlamovWSH164139%12122.2192.4%
Ty ConklinSTL144134%6612.7591.6%
Alex AuldDAL134132%5332.9890.1%
Manny LegaceCAR134132%4523.0489.8%
Antti NiemiCHI134231%10211.8192.6%
Scott ClemmensenFLA124229%5503.5388.8%
Peter BudajCOL104323%4312.2292.7%
Brent JohnsonPIT104323%4302.4991.9%
Andrew RaycroftVAN94221%4302.4590.6%
Thomas GreissSJS94321%4302.6691.3%
Josh HardingMIN84219%2503.4087.3%
Michael LeightonCAR74117%1404.2984.8%
Michael LeightonPHI74117%4012.0393.1%
Michal NeuvirthWSH74117%3403.0289.6%
Patrick LalimeBUF74117%3212.6091.7%
Curtis McElhinneyCGY74117%3202.6390.9%
Jason LaBarberaPHX74316%3302.2592.4%
Steve ValiquetteNYR64214%2303.7485.2%
Joey MacDonald TOR64214%1403.2089.2%
Erik ErsbergLAK54312%2203.6485.0%
Yann DanisNJD44010%3002.0092.9%
Devan DubnykEDM2425%0105.3680.0%
Alexander SalakFLA2425%0105.3785.0%
Cory SchneiderVAN2425%0103.8091.5%
Jhonas EnrothBUF1412%0104.1489.2%
Mike BrodeurOTT1422%1001.0095.7%
Chad JohnsonNYR1422%0004.5085.0%

Isn't it amazing how the teams, outside of the Capitals & Blackhawks who just freakin' outscore everybody, that are having "elite" seasons, all have 'tenders playing over 80% of their team's contests. It takes getting to Nik Backstrom at #11 overall to get to the first non-playoff team, but he's one of those perennial workhorses anyways.

If I had time to pull all these guys out by teams, I would, but I don't, so you'll just have to do that yourself.

You folks see any surprises? Roloson playin' so many more games than Biron perhaps?

Monday, January 4, 2010

Paul Holmgren Is Smarter Than We All Thought

Why? Reading through Elliot Friedman's always fantastic 30 Thoughts came across a little tidbit from the Flyers GM. It's part psychologist, part Vince Lombardi, part Denzel Washington, and part manipulative bastard, but all genius.

This team has been treading water for a couple weeks now. Inconsistency in net, snake bitten stars, you name it, this Flyers team had it. They were mired in a 2-8-1 December, following a match up with the retribution seeking, and finding, Florida Panthers team. It was a game they never were in. This is when all that bullshit really started flying. There was that irresponsible blog post about the story of unfaithful Flyers wives while their husbands fight for their lives. There were incessant trade rumors, injuries, and a goalie situation that seemed to be coming to a head. It was then that Paul 'Freud' Holmgren paid his visit to the locker room. Check out Thought #9.
9. If the Flyers do save their season, the turning point would be Dec. 21. Philly lost 4-1 at home to Florida that night. But, after it was over, Paul Holmgren told his players, “There will be no trades. This is our group and we believe in it.” Players said it was like a world being lifted off their shoulders.
They were going to battle with Boucher and Leighton. There was no uncertainty about who was shipping out to Montreal for Halak. Holmgren took that bastard elephant and threw him out the room and raped the monkey that was on Carter's back.

What happened? A 4-0-0 run leading up to the Winter Classic. Whether or not that turnaround can be sustained (0-1-1 in 2010) has yet to be determined, but for a guy who's been hard on the Flyers this year, and especially Holmgren's personnel decisions. This time I gotta give credit where credit is due. Not often you see the GM turning a season around with words, not transactions.

But hell, I'm not even sure who the coach of the Flyers is anymore.
Fact: BanginPanger is not meant as an insult to the one and only Darren Pang, nor do I claim to be him. The views and opinions presented on BanginPanger are of my own, and no other namesake of the site, the NHL, Buffalo Sabres, Washington Capitals, or anyone else.