Tuesday, October 26, 2010

The Head Shot Rule: Inside the Cutting Room Floor

It's not an easy job; writing superfluous language on a proposed rule to eliminate disastrous head on collisions.  But somebody had to do it; and somebody certainly did.  Here's what they came up with; and was hastily approved by the Board of Governors and Player's Association.
Rule 48 - Illegal Check to the Head
48.1 Illegal Check to the Head – A lateral or blind side hit to an opponent where the head is targeted and/or the principle point of contact is not permitted.
48.2 Minor Penalty - There is no provision for a minor penalty for this rule.
48.3 Major Penalty - For a violation of this rule, a major penalty shall be assessed (see 48.4).
48.4 Game Misconduct – An automatic game misconduct penalty shall be assessed whenever a major penalty is assessed under this rule.
48.5 Match Penalty - The Referee, at his discretion, may assess a match penalty if, in his judgment, the player attempted to or deliberately injured his opponent with an illegal check to the head.
48.6 Fines and Suspensions – Any player who incurs a total of two (2) game misconducts under this rule, in either regular League or playoff games, shall be suspended automatically for the next game his team plays. For each subsequent game misconduct penalty the automatic suspension shall be increased by one game.
If deemed appropriate, supplementary discipline can be applied by the Commissioner at his discretion
 After the break; what was left on the cutting room floor.


Rule 48: The Cooke Precedent
48.1 Illegal Check to the Head – When a player attempts to check another player from behind, or from the side, or where the other guy can't see where the first guy is coming from, which in definition is a blind side hit, where the head area, above the chest numbers for teams that just absolutely have to include them, but not including areas in and around the shoulders, regardless of the victim's situation and or cognizance of the play on the ice around them, looks to be the main point of address and attack, but this only applies to checks to the head, when the offending player comes from behind, or from the side, or the aforementioned definition of the blind side, and the concentration of the assault is in and around the face and or helmet of the victim, but of course, not in and around the shoulders, simply cannot and will not be permitted by the officiating crew and the National Hockey League.
48.2 Minor Penalty - If it is Sidney Crosby, a minor penalty can be assessed, otherwise see (48.3)
48.3 Major Penalty - When any offending individual is determined to have targeted the head area of the victim, but not amidst the shoulder areas, from behind, or from the side, or the aforementioned blind side, they will receive a mandatory major penalty as well as a verbal reprimand from the old guys who sit in the penalty box for no apparent reason. (see 48.4).
48.4 Game Misconduct – An automatic game misconduct shall be assessed whenever a major penalty is assessed under this rule, unless the player is deemed to be too important to the franchise and the NHL's marketing plans. (See NHL Network commercials)
48.5 Match Penalty - The referee, at his discretion, may assess a match penalty if, in his erred and biased judgment, the player attempted to or deliberately injured his opponent with an illegal check to the head as defined in 48.1.
48.6 Fines and Suspensions – Any player who incurs a total of two (2) game misconducts under this rule, in either regular League or playoff games, shall be suspended automatically for the next game his team plays. For each subsequent game misconduct penalty the automatic suspension shall be increased by one game.

Since half our players never finished high school that would be 2 misconducts = 1 game automatic suspension, 3 misconducts = 2 game automatic suspension, 4 misconducts = 3 game automatic suspension, 5 misconducts = moving into Mario Lemieux's house.
If deemed appropriate, supplementary discipline can be applied by the Commissioner at his discretion.
I think I like theirs better; really cuts down the extraneous verbiage; who wrote that nonsense.  But by the way; that's one hell of a sentence.

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