Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Pittsburgh's Driver Really Should Be Better

It's not like you live in Miami, you're from Pittsburgh. Learn how to drive.


Thanks to the Pittsburgh Penguins twitter account, we get this lovely scene. A bunch of highly, highly, highly paid athletes pushing a bus stuck between Niagara Falls and Buffalo, NY.

God, I sure hope the snow didn't ruin their suede and fur.

Woah, woah, woah, you're tellin' me the players didn't get off their lazy asses and help push? You let Dan Bylsma push? Who's playin' for who here people?
"Joining Bylsma in saving the day were assistant coaches Mike Yeo, Tony Granato and Gilles Meloche, Senior Director of Team Operations Frank Buonomo, Vice President of Communications Tom McMillan, Head Athletic Trainer Chris Stewart and Video Coordinator Jim Britt."
At least Mike Yeo is good for something.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Best Part of Kesler / Weber Fight? Green Men

At least the Flyers aren't the only thing eliciting laughter out of Philadelphia these days.



Wooooooooooooooooooooo

Friday, December 18, 2009

Poor Detroit

Let's be clear; it's a clean hit, and unfortunate, but clean hit. Koci, Ruttu Ruutu PooPoo, and Ovechkin (heyoooooooo zingerrrrrrr) should take note. With this hit, and consequent shoulder separation; that leaves like 4 healthy bodies on the Wings roster.

Kronwall - Out.
Williams - Out.
Filppula - Out.
Franzen - Out.
Lilja - Out.
Cleary - Out.
Zetterberg - Out.

Doug Janik - In.

You know it's bad when Doug Janik makes the lineup.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Calling All Conspiracy Theorists

We've got an awesome, hopefully soon to be way overblown, controversy from last night. Undoubtably the only people to care will be those from Buffalo, but hopefully, led by fans of the Leafs, there will erupt a full blown grassroots movement to end preferential treatment of Les Habitants. This whole thing kind of reminds me of the old Lloyd Carr days of Michigan Football. Bush league bullshit.

Here's the situation; Sabres on the PK for exactly the last 2 minutes of the game. Ryan Miller makes a huge save on Mike Cammawhoknowshowtspelltherestofhisname while playing down 6 on 4, and freezes the puck. There's 19 seconds remaining on the clock.

Now let's watch the video. Thanks to Little Miss PuckHead for uploading the NHL on the Fly highlights here this morning for me. Keep your eyes on the clock after the draw. Then watch the hilarious ludicrousness evolve.



One Mississippi, Two Mississippi, Three Mississippi, ok you get the point. I don't know what chocolate covered ivory tower that clock operator lives on, but my God, I stopwatched 12.2 seconds between the faceoff and when it started ticking again. 12.2 seconds.

So man, what could happen in 12.2 seconds?

Well, I think Ovi just took 4 more shots on net, probably scored twice too. Speaking of scoring, 4 more whores came out in the Tiger Woods scandal in the past 12.2 seconds. Tiger still made $18.1 million during those 12.2 seconds though. The list goes on and on.

But hey, thanks Montreal for letting me link this again.

To the officials credit, whether on ice or upstairs, they did call the game when there was "7.5 seconds" remaining on the clock, much to the consternation of the partisan crowd.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Nice One MSG



AND THEN HE RODE VANEK HARD!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Riffin' On MSM; Bucky Gleason Edition

(Originally published over at DoubleEdgedSabres.com, but edited here to sound less fanboy-ish, and far more attacking on Mr. Gleason.)

In case you haven't been picked up a Buffalo News (of course you haven't) and missed Bucky Gleason's amazingly inflammatory article on Alex Ovechkin today, you're missing out. Unless of course you've already had your fill of douchebag, in that case, I'm not sure you want to read it.

For what it's worth, I am not a Bucky Gleason fan, never have been, highly doubt I ever will be. I find he panders to whatever the vocal minority has to say; whether it was his articles ranging from the "mistake" of letting go Drury and Briere, to how suddenly a year later another article praising managements handling of free agency and personnel movement. It's all a freakin' sham, this guy punts articles more than the Bills.

First off, in what world can a guy who covers a team who's leading scorer has 8 goals, who's leading point getter, Derek Roy, is averaging .82 points per game, deride Alex Ovechkin for having an off night? Oh, God forbid he has an off night. Those 20 goals (in 23 games) and 32 points don't apply here. The Caps lost their 6th game in regulation, look out, they're cooked. The Sabres couldn't use anybody like that, cause he had one off night. Yup, that's it.

Oh, and the flop/dive. Glass houses, Bucky, Glass houses. Care to take a look at the Sabres #1 center, noooooooooooo, not Derek Roy, never saw him take a dive before in my time. Do you actually watch the games?

A Floater? Hell, I'm sure Sabres fans know what floaters look like, usually there's about 4-6 on the ice at any given time. Hell after a decade of Max Afinogenov and Ales Kotalik, the Sabres are freakin' connoisseurs floating. They've perfected the art of floating. Alex Ovechkin isn't a floater.

Fluttered wide of an open net? (See Right) God that never happens to Jason Pominville. Fluttered? Looks more like a plain old one timer to me Bucko. But hey, that wouldn't hold up your argument, but that's semantics right?

Now for your two most listless attacks; booed in 41 games a year? Want to bet? I know you don't cover the Capitals, but sometimes I'm not even sure you watch the Sabres, let alone any other team in the league. Tampa didn't boo him, Toronto didn't boo him, you know what, not even Philadelphia booed him (I lied, of course Philly booed him, it's Philly). Puck Daddy says it right, it's laughable to suggest he gets booed everywhere he goes. But you know, being forced to watch a guy like Alex Ovechkin a couple times, man that'd suck so bad.

And this.

Ovechkin drives a $300,000 Mercedes with a Virginia license plate that reads "AO GR8" and owns a $10,000 cell phone. He usually plays the same way he lives, with his foot to the floor while disregarding the traffic around him.

That's your big finish? Vanity? For a guy who makes $9 million dollars a year, who had one bad night? What kind of car does Vanek drive, pretty sure he's rollin' in mad cash money? Oh, but that wouldn't be convenient for you to jump on the "Ovechkin is a bad guy" sentiment that's rolling around anymore. Who even cares what kind of cell phone he uses? Doesn't have anything to do with anything.

To sum it all up, your blatant penis envy is only surpassed by your monstrous ego. Give me a break Bucky, give me a freakin' break. You make Jim Kelley seem likeable.

And no, none of this was meant to be an attack on any of the Sabres, last I checked they were leading their division, but last I checked, Washington was leading the Eastern Conference. But golly, that wouldn't support Bucky's article.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Why Twitter Rules: Part 3

Hilarious.
@KatieStrangNYI Brendan Witt was hit by a car this morning but is fine and will play tonight.
Where else would you get such a tidbit? Too much. Gotta be a joke there somewhere, something along the lines of playing for the Isles sucks so bad you just wanna end it. But I'm too tired to be witty.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Your Hit of the Weekend

Filler post riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight now.



I totally punted on today.

By the way, Jeff Finger got paid $97,222.22 for that hit. Just saying.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Jason Pominville vs. Max Talbot; Redux

These two are the connoisseurs of local TV ads. Talbot recently released his latest gem on the world, while Pominville has two more of his own. Watch, listen, and laugh at their awkwardness.



Here's his other one.

And Talbot? He's like Jimmy Fallon in the Blue Oyster Cult skit from SNL, damn son, keep a straight face.



By the way, on a much more personal note, City of Champions Crunch can eat my ass.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Jersey Foul Capital of the World Strikes Again

At last Wednesday's Sabres - Caps tilt, it took a whole, oh, 3 minutes after arriving into the Phone Booth to spot the first of many on the night. I only got a picture of this guy, as I was forced to funnel through like sheeple behind him.

Of course, I fit through the turnstiles far easier than "Whale."


I wish this was like Deadspin and I could pull off a "Who the hell is Whale?" but alas, that won't happen. Nor do I really care. But really, who is this Whale character? Well, we sure do know that he has no respect for the jersey code. Plus I'm not even going to get into the one sleeve rolled up look!

Sir, Whale sir, Nicklas Backstrom is #19, not you. You have no number, if you had a number, I bet it's around 2, as in divorces.

Plus, guy, you're shitting on the memories of Hartford's finest. You are shitting on the memories of Kevin Dineen. Kevin effing Dineen.

Kevin. Dineen. Oh yeah, PAT VERBEEK. Oh I kid, it's your money.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Weezer FTW

This is just part of the reason you should like Weezer. The other part being My Name is Jonas.

I'm even ready to forgive them for Pinkerton. Well, almost.
 
Fact: BanginPanger is not meant as an insult to the one and only Darren Pang, nor do I claim to be him. The views and opinions presented on BanginPanger are of my own, and no other namesake of the site, the NHL, Buffalo Sabres, Washington Capitals, or anyone else.