Thursday, December 10, 2009

Riffin' On MSM; Bucky Gleason Edition

(Originally published over at, but edited here to sound less fanboy-ish, and far more attacking on Mr. Gleason.)

In case you haven't been picked up a Buffalo News (of course you haven't) and missed Bucky Gleason's amazingly inflammatory article on Alex Ovechkin today, you're missing out. Unless of course you've already had your fill of douchebag, in that case, I'm not sure you want to read it.

For what it's worth, I am not a Bucky Gleason fan, never have been, highly doubt I ever will be. I find he panders to whatever the vocal minority has to say; whether it was his articles ranging from the "mistake" of letting go Drury and Briere, to how suddenly a year later another article praising managements handling of free agency and personnel movement. It's all a freakin' sham, this guy punts articles more than the Bills.

First off, in what world can a guy who covers a team who's leading scorer has 8 goals, who's leading point getter, Derek Roy, is averaging .82 points per game, deride Alex Ovechkin for having an off night? Oh, God forbid he has an off night. Those 20 goals (in 23 games) and 32 points don't apply here. The Caps lost their 6th game in regulation, look out, they're cooked. The Sabres couldn't use anybody like that, cause he had one off night. Yup, that's it.

Oh, and the flop/dive. Glass houses, Bucky, Glass houses. Care to take a look at the Sabres #1 center, noooooooooooo, not Derek Roy, never saw him take a dive before in my time. Do you actually watch the games?

A Floater? Hell, I'm sure Sabres fans know what floaters look like, usually there's about 4-6 on the ice at any given time. Hell after a decade of Max Afinogenov and Ales Kotalik, the Sabres are freakin' connoisseurs floating. They've perfected the art of floating. Alex Ovechkin isn't a floater.

Fluttered wide of an open net? (See Right) God that never happens to Jason Pominville. Fluttered? Looks more like a plain old one timer to me Bucko. But hey, that wouldn't hold up your argument, but that's semantics right?

Now for your two most listless attacks; booed in 41 games a year? Want to bet? I know you don't cover the Capitals, but sometimes I'm not even sure you watch the Sabres, let alone any other team in the league. Tampa didn't boo him, Toronto didn't boo him, you know what, not even Philadelphia booed him (I lied, of course Philly booed him, it's Philly). Puck Daddy says it right, it's laughable to suggest he gets booed everywhere he goes. But you know, being forced to watch a guy like Alex Ovechkin a couple times, man that'd suck so bad.

And this.

Ovechkin drives a $300,000 Mercedes with a Virginia license plate that reads "AO GR8" and owns a $10,000 cell phone. He usually plays the same way he lives, with his foot to the floor while disregarding the traffic around him.

That's your big finish? Vanity? For a guy who makes $9 million dollars a year, who had one bad night? What kind of car does Vanek drive, pretty sure he's rollin' in mad cash money? Oh, but that wouldn't be convenient for you to jump on the "Ovechkin is a bad guy" sentiment that's rolling around anymore. Who even cares what kind of cell phone he uses? Doesn't have anything to do with anything.

To sum it all up, your blatant penis envy is only surpassed by your monstrous ego. Give me a break Bucky, give me a freakin' break. You make Jim Kelley seem likeable.

And no, none of this was meant to be an attack on any of the Sabres, last I checked they were leading their division, but last I checked, Washington was leading the Eastern Conference. But golly, that wouldn't support Bucky's article.

Fact: BanginPanger is not meant as an insult to the one and only Darren Pang, nor do I claim to be him. The views and opinions presented on BanginPanger are of my own, and no other namesake of the site, the NHL, Buffalo Sabres, Washington Capitals, or anyone else.