Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Shield Your Eyes; It's Zdeno Time

It's Zdeno Chara from ESPN's "The Body Issue." This is as homoerotic as we'll get here. So just to warn you, this is really, really gay. And hilarious. I give you...naked Zdeno Chara.



Don't feel like zooming in? Don't blame you. Here's what the caption reads...
Why we chose him: Never has a 6'9" intimidator been so quick on ice.

Take it from a pro: "Throw skates on Zdeno, and he's basically seven feet tall. He's got great balance and power and can't be knocked down. The joke here is that when he poke-checks, he can sweep his stick from board to board. How can you get around a guy like that? For me, he's a video gamer's dream, the create-a-player guy you've always wanted to exist in real life." - David Littman, Former NHL Goalie and producer of EA's NHL10
No, the joke here is ESPN's Body issue. WTF is going on.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

When did every photo of a nude man become homoerotic? Is every picture of a naked woman homoerotic too?! Is the picture of Serena Williams on the cover "gay" or "lesbian?"

FYI, 'homoerotic' as defined by Merriam-Webster: "Marked by, revealing, or portraying homosexual desire." None evident.

--Tyler Green

Vance said...

Colloquialism, no?

Or do you want to define that for me too?

Anonymous said...

Of what 'local or regional dialect' is that a part?

Words mean something. That's a good thing. It is not a bad thing, a cause for insecurity or hostility.

Vance said...

Not regional, generational.

I'm sorry we do not see eye to eye, but Chara's eyes say come hither.

Anonymous said...

Ah, I like that addition to the definition of 'colloquial.'

Libey said...

Lamb and tunafish? No?

Spaghetti and meatball? Perhaps you more comfortable with that analogy?

Vance said...

How does generational language not apply to "characteristic of or appropriate to ordinary or familiar conversation rather than formal speech or writing"

My generation has called things "gay" and "retarded" before being PC became all the rage.

An informal style? Gosh that doesn't describe this website at alllllllll.

Anonymous said...

Your use of the "colloquialism" ISN'T appropriate on any level. It's just a lame excuse but nice try. You need to come clean and admit you're attracted to the big man. Your only disappointment is in the fact that you can't see his schlong. You KNOW you're dying to know how big it is.

Vance said...

I can only hope he's a tripod, assuming everything's in proportion.

I bet it's bigger than the Canadien's first line combined.

Spec7ral said...

I want to fuck Chara.

Dave said...

One word: mangina.

Anonymous said...

nice post. thanks.

Anonymous said...

Keep posting stuff like this i really like it

Anonymous said...

I am an actual female and I can tell you that I could give a shit how big his schlong is, he would get me there, easily. My god, what a body. Beautiful. Simply perfect, and a great face too. Mmmmm.

 
Fact: BanginPanger is not meant as an insult to the one and only Darren Pang, nor do I claim to be him. The views and opinions presented on BanginPanger are of my own, and no other namesake of the site, the NHL, Buffalo Sabres, Washington Capitals, or anyone else.