Thursday, March 26, 2009

The Portal: What is it?

Ok folks, the marketing geniuses of the NHL have something new and exciting for you; The Portal. Coming on April 13th, the Portal will be like something we've never seen before? It's like...revolutionary or something? It's...well, I haven't a clue, and neither do you. So heck yeah, we're guessing.


There you have it. Behind those very internet doors is everything I've ever wanted, and everything I could ever want, if I knew that thing that I know I want, even if I don't know that I want it, because it may or may not exist, exists.

Good God. So apparently Gary Bettman doesn't think I know that there are indeed beer waterfalls and endless supplies of leggy blondes who don't care how immature, vulgar, or lazy I am, psch, whatever Gare-bear (my nickname for G dawg {my other nickname for Bettman}).

Now the real question is, what is the Portal? Any guesses?


Update:: The regular season ends April 12th, could it be...free online streaming of non-televised playoff games?!?!?!?

Update:: Or will it just be this...and a total let down...

2 comments:

Denson said...

Obviously it's Sidney Crosby.

Vance said...

I believe that Gary Bettman has indeed invented a device, a portal if you will, akin to the Digital Conveyor (oh yes, Galaxy Quest reference), which will allow every NHL team to play a game in every major city across the globe, thereby spreading hockey's dominance to Madagascar, Myanmar, and the Moon!

Muuuuhuhuuhahahahahahahahhaaaaaaa!

 
Fact: BanginPanger is not meant as an insult to the one and only Darren Pang, nor do I claim to be him. The views and opinions presented on BanginPanger are of my own, and no other namesake of the site, the NHL, Buffalo Sabres, Washington Capitals, or anyone else.