Thursday, March 19, 2009

Goat of the Week: Martin Brodeur

I'm so tired of the Marty Brodeur talk. I'm really happy for him, I really am. I'm glad he's getting all the press that he rightfully deserves, but Martin, sweet Martin. You know what no one enjoys? Hubris. You realize how much of a dick you sounded earlier this week? "It just puts me in a class of my own."

Really? One win and all of a sudden Patrick Roy isn't in the conversation? I'll give you a class of your own...Pilates, fat ass. Well, since everyone and their uncle is blowing Brodeur as if he's Sidney Crosby, well, it's time to bring Sweet Cheeks back down to earth. How? How's $500,000 a year sound?

Why are we giving Martin Brodeur the Goat of the Week? Well, I think we can compare him to one of the other media sponsored athletes of our generation; Lance Armstrong. Now don't get me wrong, he is a phenomenal athlete, but he too, is a giant piece of shit (Bono, Lance Armstrong, Kim Jong Il, in that order). If you'd recall Lance left his wife and children for Sheryl Crow (you stay classy Lance).


Now, I don't like delving into athlete's personal lives (that's a lie) but goodness, Marty's life this decade is like a bad story arc in Days of Our Lives. His now ex-wife, Melanie DuBois, with whom Marty has 4 kids, filed for divorce in 2003. Why? Oh, he was just cheating on her with her brother's wife. And yes, Marty Brodeur married that woman in 2008 . Fantastic role model for the kids, but then again, he does reside in Jersey.

Well as much as his personal life didn't seem to bother his play on the ice, maybe the hit to his checking account will. Today Martin has been forced by the New Jersey Appeals Court to pay $500,000 in alimony, per year, all the way until 2020 (when his youngest child graduates college). He will be paying $500K for over 10 years, yeah, do the math. $5 million plus.

Don't feel sorry for Marty, he doesn't need that money. But, she probably does. Anyways, this is our way of letting Mr. Brodeur know, you still have a job to do. Records may last forever, but I'd rather have a yacht with a helipad.
Martin Brodeur joins the ranks of other, and probably much more deserving, Goats of the Week. As always, find the rest of em here.

73 comments:

Nuuuuugs said...

Hey Vance, lovin' your write-ups. Couldn't agree more about Brodeur, and linked you in my blog on the same subject. Hope you enjoy, and don't mind. Let me know either way.

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DICKFACE!

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what does being from jersey have anything to do with the topic of cheating on his wife, as if cheating only happens in that state, not to mention they are all Canadian not American(well now he is)... he may be a selfish ass but what happens in his private life should have no reason to be public and if that is was American press is all about i think society should stand back and take a look at what we consider okay behavior... he is just one of many people who act the same way, being famous shouldnt change that...

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