Wednesday, March 18, 2009

The All-Dirty Name Team

Dirty names are funny, remember that first time you read Mike Hunt or Mike Hock and realized exactly how funny that was. Maybe you just happen to be "legendary" NASCAR driver Dick Trickle, either way, hockey players have funny names too.

So here now I present to you, the first dirty name team.


Oh, lord. Your last name is Legwand. Leg. Wand. Your childhood must have been hilarious. Not until I was browsing the rosters did I ever sit and realize quite how funny the last name Legwand truly is, phonetically speaking of course.

Left Wing
Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome your starting left wing, Ryan "The Master" Bayda! You see what I did there? I added master in front of his last name, so it sounds like masturbator. Oh come on, you know it was funny.

Right Wing
Probably the most obvious of our team (and most talented), literally sir, your last name is Semin. It doesn't get much dirtier than that. Semin. Semen. Hehe.

Yeah, Johnny "I would totally" Oduya starts here on the backline. Between his come hither stare and millions I don't know how the girls of Newark don't come crawling. Oh, you mean Johnny's not interested? Why? Oh yeah, cause they're Jersey Girls...and he goes by Johnny.

Playing right along side Johnny "You're so hideous I would never" Oduya would be Jeff "Magic" Finger. Whether from the backend or deep in the zone, Finger is always achin' to score. Also his last name is 3rd base. That's funny.

Yes, that's right. His last name is Johnson. It's yet another penis joke. But there aren't really many good dirty goalie names, at least none that aren't a stretch. Oh well, Johnson is funny, but only moderately better than Quick, DiPi, or Harding.

Honorable Mention
RW - Jordin Tootoo - Nashville Predators
LW - Alex Tanguay - Montreal Canadiens
C - Radek Bonk - Nashville Predators
Anyone else with the lastname Johnson or Peters

D - Jonas Ahnelov - Phoenix Coyotes
RW - Tyler Shelast - Dallas Stars
LW - Ryan Dingle - Anaheim Ducks
D - Grant Clitsome - Columbus Blue Jackets
D - Thomas Hickey - LA Kings

Did I miss any names? Personally my favorite, by far, is Mr. Ahnelov, how hilariously awful is it that his last name looks, but may not sound, like anal love? Clitsome is a close second.


Spec7ral said...

Prospect: Shattenkirk.

James said...

Clitsome takes the award, hands down. Anyone who can live with clit in his name is awesome.

'Dude, you've been single for like 12 years! Don't you miss sex?'
'Come on, I NEVER run out of clit, look at my last name!'

Anonymous said...

He never made it to the NHL, but defenseman Mike PUDLICK, played for the Manchester Monarchs in the AHL for 2 seasons. There is another Kings prospect, Yutaka Fukufuji, who played four games for the Kings in the 06-07 season. I beleive he is now playing in the ECHL

Mike said...

No love for Cal Clutterbuck?

Big D Hockey said...

Not many dirty goalie names? Ron TUGNUTT! Seriously...How'd you miss THAT one. ;)

Vance said...

Current players Big D, Current!

Hence no pitlick, harry dick, or tugnutt!

Big D Hockey said...

Oh, man. I need to do a much better job at reading. Apologies! I loved the list, did a fine job.

Anonymous said...

[url=]lasix cost[/url] - lasix online , lasix without prescription

Anonymous said...

[url=]cheap generic lasix[/url] - lasix cost , buy lasix online

Anonymous said...

[url=]buy lasix online[/url] - generic lasix , cheap lasix

Anonymous said...

[url=]lasix online without prescription[/url] - lasix cost , cheap generic lasix

Anonymous said...

[url=]accutane cost[/url] - buy accutane , buy accutane online

Anonymous said...

[url=]generic accutane[/url] - buy accutane online , cheap generic accutane

Qing Cai said...

herve leger
michael kors outlet,
baltimore ravens jerseys
timberland boots
cheap football shirts
oakley sunglasses,
ray ban
michael kors outlet,
mac makeup
soccer shoes
air jordan shoes
new orleans saints jerseys
tory burch outlet
miami heat jersey
coach outlet online
adidas outlet store,
cheap jordans,
cartier watches
ugg boots
michael kors outlet online
snapback hats
washington redskins jerseys
tommy hilfiger outlet
michael kors handbags
ralph lauren,
rolex watches uk
tiffany outlet,
ralph lauren polo shirts
lebron james shoes

Xianjun Ranqin said...

qihang0918,nike blazer
nike air max
marc jacobs
p90x workouts
nike store uk
gucci shoes
coach factory outlet
cheap oakley sunglasses
giuseppe zanotti sneakers
nike free run
air force 1
replica watches
michael kors outlet
nike trainers
ed hardy outlet
chaussure louboutin
moncler outlet
cheap oakleys
nike sb
canada goose uk
ugg boots clearance
pandora jewelry
coach outlet canada
lebron james shoes
nike air force 1
christian louboutin shoes
oakley sunglasses
adidas superstar
toms outlet
tod's shoes
air max 90
fitflop uk
tods outlet

Wenhao Guo said...

celine outlet online
ray ban sunglasses outlet,ray ban usa,ray ban sunglasses,ray ban,rayban,ray bans,rayban sunglasses,cheap ray ban,ray ban outlet,ray-ban,raybans,ray ban wayfarer,ray-ban sunglasses
barbour uk
louis vuitton
salomon speedcross 3
ugg outlet
winter coats outlet
michael kors outlet
new york jets
michael kors,michael kors canada,michael kors handbags,michael kors outlet,michael kors outlet canada
cheap ugg boots
uggs outlet
nobis outlet
cheap ray ban sunglasses
louis vuitton uk
michael kors outlet store
mbt sneakers
nike air huarache,nike huarache,nike huarache sneakers,nike huarache shoes
kobe bryants shoes 2015
michael kors outlet store
nike free
hermes bags
kansas city chiefs
lebron 12
los angeles clippers
cheap mlb jerseys
air jordan 4 free shipping
nike air max 2014
moncler outlet
woolrich clothing
moncler coats
lululemon outlet store

ninest123 said...

ninest123 16.01
oakley sunglasses, cheap oakley sunglasses, michael kors outlet, louboutin, longchamp outlet, michael kors outlet, uggs on sale, nike air max, louis vuitton, louboutin shoes, christian louboutin outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet, burberry, ugg boots, michael kors outlet, nike air max, ray ban sunglasses, michael kors, ray ban sunglasses, michael kors outlet, replica watches, chanel handbags, jordan shoes, ugg boots, louis vuitton, prada outlet, oakley sunglasses, ray ban sunglasses, longchamp outlet, louboutin outlet, gucci outlet, louis vuitton, burberry outlet online, prada handbags, michael kors outlet, louis vuitton outlet, longchamp, replica watches, oakley sunglasses, polo ralph lauren outlet, tiffany jewelry, louis vuitton outlet, nike outlet, tory burch outlet, oakley sunglasses, tiffany and co, ugg boots, nike free, ugg boots

ninest123 said...

michael kors, michael kors, hogan, oakley pas cher, nike air max, mulberry, ray ban pas cher, nike air max, longchamp, converse pas cher, ralph lauren uk, nike free run uk, true religion outlet, replica handbags, nike trainers, abercrombie and fitch, air force, hermes, true religion jeans, nike free, air jordan pas cher, vanessa bruno, nike roshe run, lacoste pas cher, longchamp pas cher, nike huarache, hollister, nike roshe, north face, north face, ralph lauren pas cher, true religion jeans, burberry, sac longchamp, vans pas cher, tn pas cher, michael kors, michael kors, coach purses, nike blazer, sac guess, new balance pas cher, nike air max, hollister pas cher, true religion jeans, coach outlet, louboutin pas cher, ray ban uk, lululemon, air max, timberland

ninest123 said...

lululemon, birkin bag, iphone 6 plus cases, soccer shoes, ipad cases, baseball bats, insanity workout, valentino shoes, iphone 6 cases, north face outlet, s5 cases, mcm handbags, asics running shoes, vans shoes, mont blanc, oakley, celine handbags, gucci, ray ban, p90x workout, iphone 6s plus cases, north face outlet, new balance, ferragamo shoes, hollister, nike air max, vans, giuseppe zanotti, iphone 5s cases, reebok shoes, bottega veneta, mac cosmetics, iphone 6s cases, abercrombie and fitch, jimmy choo shoes, louboutin, timberland boots, nfl jerseys, nike roshe, babyliss, instyler, chi flat iron, iphone cases, ralph lauren, hollister, beats by dre, converse, soccer jerseys, herve leger, ghd, wedding dresses, nike air max

ninest123 said...

coach outlet, doudoune canada goose, barbour, converse outlet, canada goose outlet, juicy couture outlet, barbour jackets, canada goose, juicy couture outlet, canada goose uk, toms shoes, pandora charms, ugg pas cher, pandora jewelry, ugg,uggs,uggs canada, louis vuitton, montre pas cher, swarovski, hollister, louis vuitton, swarovski crystal, marc jacobs, canada goose, moncler, thomas sabo, lancel, canada goose, wedding dresses, louis vuitton, replica watches, louis vuitton, moncler, moncler, sac louis vuitton pas cher, moncler outlet, pandora charms, links of london, karen millen, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, moncler, supra shoes, bottes ugg, doke gabbana outlet, moncler, pandora jewelry, moncler, canada goose, canada goose outlet, moncler, ugg boots uk
ninest123 16.01

Xiaozhengm 520 said...

2016-4-7 xiaozhengm
air jordan retro
toms shoes
coach outlet
louis vuitton outlet stores
fitflops sale clearance
ray ban sunglasses discount
true religion jeans
louis vuitton outlet
timberland boots
coach outlet
adidas superstar
nike uk
michael kors handbags
cheap jerseys
ralph lauren uk
true religion jeans
coach factorty outlet
coach outlet
ray ban sunglasses
coach factorty outlet
coach outlet online
michael kors outlet
coach outlet
ray ban sunglasses outlet
hollister kids
michael kors outlet
jordans for sale
michael kors
nike free run
louis vuitton outlet
gucci shoes
polo ralph lauren outlet
adidas originals
nike air jordan
retro jordans
pandora jewelry
michael kors outlet
lebron james shoes

Fact: BanginPanger is not meant as an insult to the one and only Darren Pang, nor do I claim to be him. The views and opinions presented on BanginPanger are of my own, and no other namesake of the site, the NHL, Buffalo Sabres, Washington Capitals, or anyone else.