Friday, February 20, 2009

He'd Hit That: I'd Hit That

Now I was going to pile on the Habs today. But I decided to wait, I'll pile on later this afternoon (plus I couldn't find any wives worth it other than Carbonneau's and his daughter, saving that one for a mother-daughter special tribute).

But in my bitterness over the Sabres loss to the Flyers last night, I thought I'd go after one of the biggest pieces of shit on the earth: Scott Hartnell. Yeah, Flyers fans we know, you love him, you're just jealous, he's being victimized, blah blah blah. NO. He's a ginger donk that landed a smokin' wife and it really upsets me. Really, really, realllllllllllyyyyyy upsets me.

By the way, this grungry lookin' dude can land a girl next door type and the Kostitsyn's are getting hookers? What is wrong with Montreal? Hehe.

Now allow me to introduce you to Lisa Hartnell. She drug Scott off his ass to go to the unveiling of the 76ers/Flyers room at a Hospice in Philadelphia, what a gal. What. A. Gal. Way to shave for the event Scott, it's for the kids God dammit. Cut your hair, tool.

Lisa, leave him. For me. K THX.

8 comments:

Denson said...

She looks like shes 19. But I'd do Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus...so whats another 19 yr old.

Just another reason to hate hartnell

Vance said...

Need I remind you "Cookin by the book" and you think I'd have qualms with a girl that looks 19?

Have you not known me for years?

But dude, Miley Cyrus, you means Gums McTeethface? I wouldn't touch her with my achy breaky pole.

jamestobrien said...

Careful, Denson. You're not supposed to admit you're attracted to pre-legals OUT LOUD.

Isn't it funny how being a douche can make a haircut hate-worthy while being a goofy, likeable guy can make a haircut funny?

Former: Hartnell

Latter: Mike Commodore

Silly gingers.

Spec7ral said...

Did someone just admit to having a chubby over a pink haired ten year old? Amazing.

Vance said...

I'm just sayin, she looks young for her age.

My God, we really are terrible people.

In case you missed the joke.

jamestobrien said...

Also, Hartnell's better half looks like a smaller Katherine Heigl. Am I right?

http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&q=Katherine%20Heigl&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wi

Vance said...

I never knew Heigl took pictures sans top. That's pretty awesome.

Although Heigl doesn't particularly do it for me. I find her to be a tad too...amazon-esque.

jamestobrien said...

Yeah, you know, at first I thought she was awesome. But oddly enough, the Kristen Wiig (or however he name's spelled) scene in Knocked Up where she says something along the lines of: "we're not telling you to lose weight ... we just want you to step on a scale, write that number down then subtract it by 10 lbs" actually made her seem bulkier in my eyes.

Obviously, I'd nail her in real life, though.

 
Fact: BanginPanger is not meant as an insult to the one and only Darren Pang, nor do I claim to be him. The views and opinions presented on BanginPanger are of my own, and no other namesake of the site, the NHL, Buffalo Sabres, Washington Capitals, or anyone else.