Thursday, February 19, 2009

Goat of the Week: Montreal Canadiens

It's been a rough week for Les Habitants, from the Front Office all the way down to the AHL's Hamilton Bulldogs, these Canadiens, as an organization, receive the 10th Official Goat of the Week Award.

Accepting on behalf of the Canadiens will be Bob Gainey, who's public betrayal of, wait no, embarassment of, hmm not quite there, public cruxification of Alex Kovalev, has sparked internet trade rumors and derision. Of course, Kovalev was sleep walking through the season (but he was all-star MVP!) and but when a GM, not coach, declares that the team is no longer in need of your services. That hurts.

Oh but Kovalev, this isn't just Gainey's fault, oh no, you suck. You have some of the most gifted hands in the league, so naturally why would you ever want to use them. I'd rather have a guy like Lapierre, or hell even Latendresse, who actually gives a damn. Rather than your lackadaisical act. Maybe Gainey can call Shero and swap Kovy for Satan.

Oh but the Habs aren't done. Sergei Kostitsyn? Your 8th leading scorer? Well, I guess technically 5th leading scorer cause Lang, Kovy, and Tanguay aren't playing. Obviously, he's been demoted and by demoted I mean PWND. Your 23 points are less than you put up last year in your rookie season, same amount of games, sophomore slump FTW.

What else have we got? Oh yeah. Carey Price. Poor, poor Carey Price. Oh wait, no. If a player leaves the league due to lung cancer do they receive the same kind of welcome back that Jason Blake, Phil Kessel, Saku Koivu or Mario Lemieux got? Well, maybe we'll find out. I'm not sayin, I'm just sayin. Plus you know, he's been blowin his wad in the crease during their swoon (well at least he doesn't have Peter Mannino's numbers) .

Well at least we know that he and the Party Patrol are havin' fun.

So far we have Gainey, Kovalev, S. Kostitsyn, Carey Price, and the Party Patrol. I would make mention of adding a 46 year old D-man to the fold the other day, but you know, that might actually be beneficial.

It just makes you wonder, where is Saku Koivu through all this? Where's the leadership? Step up man! Eh, whatever. Montreal, congratulations, you are the Goat of the Week.


[Also considered: Ryan Suter for getting his ass beat by Maid Marian Hossa, Michel Therrien (but he's more like a scapegoat of the week), Justin Pogge, and The Mononucleosis virus] And as always people, it's a joke.

1 comment:

Spec7ral said...

Cancer is no laughing matter. In other news, your blog rocks, so we've added it to our list of beauties over at http://hockeydump.blogspot.com/ . If you wanted to add us to your list here, that would be special, but we drop alot of fucking f bombs, just a warning.

 
Fact: BanginPanger is not meant as an insult to the one and only Darren Pang, nor do I claim to be him. The views and opinions presented on BanginPanger are of my own, and no other namesake of the site, the NHL, Buffalo Sabres, Washington Capitals, or anyone else.