Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Denson: Pens Apologist

Ahhh the second blogger does exist. I've been sitting around with my thumb in my ass and haven't had time to write an entry, so suck it. I'm not going to make this hard, here's who I am, quick and easy.

That's what she said.

Favorite Team
: Pittsburgh Penguins
Tolerable Others
: Buffalo Sabres, Chicago Blackhawks, Colorado Avalanche, San Jose Sharks

Most Hated:
Ottawa Senators, Philadelphia Flyers, Washington Capitals, New Jersey Devils Jerseys: Crosby and Lemieux ( In college, I did not have money to blow on jerseys like my counterpart)

Favorite Player (Current):
Sidney Crosby
Favorite Player (All-Time):
Mario Lemieux
Most Respected Player:
Steve Yzerman
Most Hated Player:
Jeremy Roenick/Tie Domi/Sean Avery...I hate a lot of people.
Most Hated but Respected Player:
It's a toss up between Ovechkin and Kovalchuck.

Favorite Hockey Memory:
The Pens run at the Stanley Cup last year. Ya I was alive for their two cups, but I was like 7 years old so I don't remember shit.

Favorite Game I Attended:
Game 6 of the 2001 Eastern Conference Quarter-Finals, Marty Straka stole the puck from then Capital Sergei Gonchar and scored the OT winner and eliminated the Craps from the playoffs.


Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Dave Coulier, my new nemesis

Karma is a bitch. I pick on poor little Dave Coulier and that Canadian [wo]man Morisette and all of the sudden Spezza's summons his inner Gretzky and Auld his best Dryden. Way to make the Sens look awesome guys! But no, it wasn't that the Sabres arrived in Buffalo at 4 am yesterday, nor the 4 consecutive OT games, no no, it was that god damned Dave Coulier. That asshat ruined our undefeated in regulation season.

No more predicitions, I failed at that. But then again, did I? Heatley scored, told yah he would. The General potted one, told yah he would. So yah know I did ok, but I'm new at this, so back off dicks.

The real point at this is to voice my displeasure at one Dave Coulier. I'm not gonna rag on his career, or lack thereof, but he, himself, and the photos I find of him, will be a focal point of mocking and derision from here on out.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Sabres V Sens - PreGame Notes

Tonight, the vaunted, the last place Ottawa Senators (2-5-1) take the trip to Buffalo to face the Sabres (6-0-2), the 1st match up between these division foes. Looks like Patrick Lalime will get the start at home, while Alex Auld will fill in for the injured and completely useless Marty Gerber. I'm not going to preview the game, read Yahoo! for that, I'm gonna talk about what I think's important.

Let's take a look at A^2. First came on the scene with Vancouver in 05-06 replacing the even more worthless Dan Cloutier (not to be confused with Dave Coulier. Fun Fact: Alanis Morisette wrote songs about him, and he caused her to turn kinda butch, atta boy Dave).

Back to Auld, that season he went 33 -26 with a 2.94 GAA, ok whatever who cares, fast forward, he's blown for/through 4 more teams since then. Obviously, he's not worth the sack of pucks they traded him for. Right now he's sittin at 1-2 with a 2.7 GAA for the year, expect that to go up.

Patrick Lalime, he who is so much better than Jocelyn Thibault (does he have a job yet? No? Not a surprise), gets the cage tonight. We last saw him in Atlanta where he played brilliantly, letting in 2 on 37 shots, eventually falling in the shootout. He's rocking a 1-0-1 record with at .951 save % with a 1.41 GAA, and Chicago let him leave why? (Huet's a giant bag of douche, Khabi's a waste of cap space, and coincidentally, life) I like giving Ryan Miller the rest after the starts on that swing out west, smart move.

The question is...does Lalime harbor any ill will towards the Senators? He only led them to a President's Trophy earlier this decade, and was traded to the St. Louis Blues (1 insult) for a Conditional (insult 2) 4th Round pick (insult 3) after the Sens signed former Sabre, Dominik Hasek (Insult 4-76). Fun Fact: That 4th rounder turned into Ilya Zubov (apparently the 7th highest rated Euro skater by central scouting at that time), a 21 year old Russian playing in the AHL currently. (NOTE: Nathan Gerbe was picked 44 picks later and Tim Kennedy an astounding 83 picks later, not sayin, just sayin.) I hope Lalime remembers those 76 reasons to two hand Dany Heatley in the shin.


Other worthwhile notes on the Senators...Filip Kuba set an NHL record for having an assist in his first 8 games on the season. My reaction? Who cares....All kinds of rumors about Jason Spezza getting moved for pieces to help with secondary scoring (when Jarkko Ruutu is 4th on the team in goals behind the Big 3 you have a problem. And hell yeah I slanted the stats to prove a point, it proved the point right, back off) But at 8 million a year until 2013, will that happen?...Guys, Filip Kuba should not be leading you in total points, not a recipe for success...Mike Fisher 0 points and a -5, he's the next Chris Drury? Bullshit...Even with the poor record, Ottawa special teams have performed admirably, though with those 3 leading the PP, and shot-blocking whores Anton Volchenkov & Jason Smith on the PK, is that all that surprising?...With Hartsburg pissed, on a 4 game losing streak, and 4 points down from Toronto (HAHAHAHA), expect the Sens to come out and play with some spit n vinegar.

Sabres notes of interest for tonight...Lindy Ruff has said that both Paul Gaustad and Timmy Connolly are close and could play, but didn't elaborate, Jochen Hecht? not so close. My take? Goose, it's your hands, you need hands to play hockey, settle down. Connolly? Don't be a r-tard, you have a fractured spine. A FRACTURED SPINE you idiot, why risk the rest of your life for a game against Alex Auld?...Will Mike Weber be called up from Portland to replace the lacerated Hank Tallinder? We'll see, the kid looked fantastic at the end of last year filling in for that depleted back end edit:: Weber's in...Teppo Numminen has played fantastic this year, a steadying hand on what used to be the Sabres' weakest area, the effect on Reggie Sekera has been dually noted...Thomas Vanek held without a goal for only the 2nd time this year, that's sick nasty...Good to see Clarke McArthur, when given some time with some regular linemates is producing some pleasant secondary scoring, ditto for Adam Mair.


4-2 good guys. I think with our depleted blue line we give up two, 1 PP to Dany Heatley, and Antoine Vermette steps up and pots an even strength dinger. But I think Lalime continues to impress in his backup role, Jason Pominville lights the lamp with a pair, Vanek, and the General pots another.

- Vance

edit:: Link to Sopcast broadcast

Friday, October 24, 2008

Vance : Sabres Blogger

A little background, introduce myself to the Blogosphere (God I hate that word, blogosphere, whoever came up with that is just the biggest douche ever) and how I came to this point.

Every guy that writes, draws pretty pictures, whatever, will do this, and they will love it.

Favorite Team: Buffalo Sabres
Tolerable Others: Washington Capitals, Chicago Blackhawks, Colorado Avalanche
Most Hated: Ottawa Senators, Philadelphia Flyers, Carolina Hurricanes
Jerseys: Jason Pominville - Alternate 2008, Ryan Miller - Home 2007, Pat LaFontaine - Home Crossed Swords, Dominik Hasek Away Crossed Swords, Chris Drury - Team USA

Favorite Player (Current):
Ryan Miller
Favorite Player (All-Time): Pat LaFontaine
Most Respected Player: Joe Sakic
Most Hated Player: Sean Avery
Most Hated but Respected Player: Sidney Crosby

Favorite Hockey Memory: Party in the Plaza, Game 2 Eastern Conference Finals, Buffalo vs. Ottawa, 2 OT Loss.

Yeah, we were all really drunk. $100 dollars doesn't get you very good tickets.

If anyones got anything else, go for it.

- Vance

Introducin Bangin Panger

This blog has nothing to do with Darren Pang. I like the guy, maybe could use a trip to the hair restoration clinic, but you know, whatever. The guy's like what, 5'5'' and played goalie for God's sakes, (just looked it up, he actually was 5'5''. Thanks Wikipedia). Dude's small.

Anyways, now that that's out of the way, let's get to the point of this. Me and my buddies are huge hockey fans, and visit all the same sites you do: Hockeybuzz, TSN, THN, Sportsnet, Spectors Hockey, whatever. Everyone has their favorite site, favorite writer, favorite anonymous piece of shit who acts like he knows what he's saying, we're not going to do that here.

This blog is to call bullshit on the nonsense that these talking heads around the US and Canada spew everyday. I'm not an insider, I don't know anyone who's gonna give me a scoop. We're definitely not going to pretend to know Dave Tallon and try to tell you how the Hawks are going to get Khabibulin off the books, cause frankly, it ain't gonna happen. Dude's goin to the A.

But here's what we're gonna do, we're going to follow our teams, follow the rest of the NHL slate, offer some relatively immature humor, and give you something to look at while you work. Hockey isn't politically correct, and neither are we, so don't expect it.

Who knows, maybe we'll offer our own ideas on trades, strategy, where we really think Sean Avery should go (hell), but really why would you care? But then again, people listen to Eklund like he's the 2nd Coming, and we all know thats true. [end sarcasm] What a dick.

edit:: I actually like Ek and all the guys there (I too post over there), what he's done for the "hockey community" has been tremendous, and certainly has filled a niche for the hockey viewing - web browsing community. To Ek, I tip my hat. Fun Fact: He won't ever see this blog.

Anyways, you'll get to know each one of us, who we're for, who we hate, and all that nonsense. But really, we just get bored at work, so we're going to be inappropriate and write "blog entries" and "predictions" and "power rankings." This is already sounds like more work than it should be. Dammit.

So, here's to a little fun, some hilarious photoshopping efforts, and Panger.

- Vance
Fact: BanginPanger is not meant as an insult to the one and only Darren Pang, nor do I claim to be him. The views and opinions presented on BanginPanger are of my own, and no other namesake of the site, the NHL, Buffalo Sabres, Washington Capitals, or anyone else.