Exclusive Interview With Sean Avery

I recently stumbled up this photo of Sean Avery. Let me ask you, what's wrong with this photo? Other than the fact that a plain black and white suit has been cliche and totally out of style since the release of the Blues Brothers in 1980, does anything else stand out? See it yet? No, OK well, take a flashlight and point it at your computer screen. Be careful though. Hold the light at an angle. The deflection of light off his silver shoes could cause temporary blindness.


I asked Avery if there was a reasoning behind wearing such a stylish pair of shoes. Maybe he was going for a whiter Michael Johnson look... He told me that it saves him the trouble of getting down on all four's (like his new goat friend) and crawling under dinner tables to look up girls skirts. Now all he has to do is stand behind the girl and look at his shoes.

I tried to ask the goat how he felt about this shameful display of fashion sense, but Avery got up in my face with his hands and was trying to distract me from him. Damn! Who told him I'm a goalie? Must be a sixth sense. The goat was too busy "lol"ing anyway so I can only assume he found the shoes as embarrassingly hilarious as I do.


Fortunately for Avery, goats love shiny objects, so he wont have to worry about losing his new furry whispering eye (that's a vagina for those who haven't seen Role Models).


Avery was pretty bitter about the whole convo, and I almost felt bad, almost... so when I got home I added a bumper sticker to his facebook page.