Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Goat of the Week: Sean Avery

Blogger: Vance
This is a no-brainer. I was just waiting for someone to eff up just enough that I could put a picture of him getting raped by a goat. Not only do I get that opportunity, well I get to photoshop one of the most classless, despised, pieces of shit to ever walk the earth, or grace the ice. A poor man's Claude Lemieux? A man that makes Matthew Barnaby blush? Nope, just Sean Avery.



By God, it's one thing to say this to your buddies after work, but come on, you're at work, I don't go around hawking my sexual conquests to the guys down the hall. It's one thing to say that after Phaneuf rocks you in the corner, but don't say it to the media.

Granted, the 1st time I heard it I cracked a grin, sloppy seconds, that shit's funny. But Phaneuf might just rip your damn head off, eat it, then take a dump on your sloppy second's chest. I'm not sayin, I'm just sayin.

But in reality, is this a suspendable offense? Sure it is, but by his franchise, not by the NHL. If this is a violation of a team's Personal Conduct Policy then fine, Dallas should go ahead and put him on the naughty chair. But for the NHL to come down so ambiguously on him is unnecessary and somewhat laughable. This isn't the type of conduct Colin Campbell should be worried about, how about suspending Ryan Hollweg for his continuing blows to the head? How about suspending Steve Downie for his reckless abandon on the ice? The NHL needs to get their priorities straight.

I think this has everything to do with his reputation and past transgressions, not the words Avery actually used, which once again proves the unevenness of NHL punishment standards. If Avery doesn't call out the refs a few years ago and embarrass himself, the Rangers, and Chris Drury with that Brodeur nonsense (though I agree, Brodeur is a fatso), would he be suspended today? But that's not my call.



As it is, Avery, for seeking out the cameras for an impromptu press conference, dissing players far more skilled and respected than he, inferring a former flame (Cuthbert, not Phaneuf) engages in NHL whore mongering, and being suspended indefinitely by the NHL, is now the 2nd Bangin Panger Goat of the Week.



**In light of this, I think that as fans of this game, we should be thankful that our scandals (sloppy seconds? all star game voting?) far outweighs gambling issues, illegal substance problem, and shooting yourself in the crotch that the NBA, MLB, and NFL have to deal with.
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Fact: BanginPanger is not meant as an insult to the one and only Darren Pang, nor do I claim to be him. The views and opinions presented on BanginPanger are of my own, and no other namesake of the site, the NHL, Buffalo Sabres, Washington Capitals, or anyone else.