Thursday, November 20, 2008

Weekly NHL All Star Game Voting is Bullshit Post!!!



Guess who doesn't have shit to do at work today! This guy. Training? F that. Not doin it.

Now since I've already posted about the porno guy (now some Polish guy searched for Blues Bangin and got the site, what the hell was he even looking for?), my current ranting on the Sabres, and posted the highlights, it's time to pick on somebody currently in the Top 15 of NHL All-Star voting to bitch about.

Now for the latest updates!



Now I haven't looked at this in a while, I've been voting, oh yes I have, but for people that deserve it (and Pierre-Luc Letourneau-Leblond) just haven't been following the results. Looks like we got ourselves a new city in the West full of utter douche mongers. Detroit, Michigan. Yes, that city up north, who "supports" an entire failing industry, has the most inept football team in the nation (Lions or Wolverines, take your pick)

But now they feel that the all-star game should simply be a Detroit Red Wings v Montreal Canadiens exhibition, sweet!

STAT CHECKER BITCHES

Western Conference Points Leaders

3) Marian Hossa :: 10 G 13 A :: legit
17 Tie) Pavel Datsyuk :: 5 G 12 A :: HMMMM
17 Tie) Henrik Zetterburg :: 10 G 7 A :: HMMMM

Now I don't like simply stat checking to prove the worth of a player, because obviously Datsyuk and Hank both are worth more to that team with their defensive responsibilities and so on, but once again we find another city, with nothing going for it, stuffing the online ballots. It's just so douchey. P.S. Mike 'asshat' Ribeiro has more points than Dieter and Hank, so does a Defensemen, Shea Weber.

Oh yes, let's look at the left coast conference defensemen. See we would have a clean sweep here, but that damned Dion Phaneuf (hmmm is Calgary trying to catch Montreal as King Douche of Canada?) Though you can't argue with Lidstrom's success and talent over all these years, I have no qualms with the west D...Wait, yeah I do. Shea Weber hobbling behind money grubbing bastards (Souray, Campbell), the Geriatric Ward (Blake, Niedermayer) and a cock (Pronger). Poor guy is tied for 14th in the West in points, and plays on a pretty unheralded team, you'd think he'd get a look at least.


Now for the East. Yeah, Montreal is still gay. But is that reallllllllyyyyy all that surprising, nah I didn't think so. But what we have here is a lot of ballot stuffing cities. Look at that Montreal, Pittsburgh, Washington, Buffalo, Boston. All right in a row. The ridiculous nature of Montreal-eans(?)-ites(?) has already been well documented here on Bangin Panger, but now we've got newcomers to the race.

At first glance it really wouldn't seem out of the ordinary to see Malkin and Crosby at the top of the All-Star voting, the NHL pimps them out any chance they get. But you really see the blind devotion when you look at the Defensemen. Oh yes, 2 guys that haven't played a single game this year, currently rank 5 and 6 in the balloting. Way to go Pittsburgh! Fleury 2nd in net? Whatever.

The same goes for Washington, they're harder to tell though, since Mike Green deserves an all-star nod, and so does Semin, but Ovechkin does not. Another guy pimped to the masses, so we can't really see how much bullshit is going down. But with how many people don't like the Caps, the dislike of the Russians, and the anonymity of Mike Green, Washington is voting hardcore.

Buffalo is hard to target, I think you can say they are stuffing the ballots by virtue of Teppo having so many votes, but a factor against that is that Derek Roy is nowhere to be seen on the results sheet. Up in the air, but I'm sure douchey fanboys are sitting in their rooms clicking away, besides, what else is there to do in Buffalo?

And Boston, a good team, but they don't have this many fans. They're stuffing the ballots like a 6th grade girl before the Fall Harvest Dance. I do like the upswell of support for Tim Thomas, cause that fat ass deserves it.

Douche City Rankings 2008
1. Montreal
2. Detroit
3. Pittsburgh
4. Washington
5. Boston
6. Buffalo
7. Calgary
8. Anaheim
9. Dallas
10. San Jose

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Haha wow dude. I agree with you on all counts... except the shit about Detroit. They're SC champs. Remember? Zetterberg and Datsyuk are both easily top ten players in the league. And Lidstrom, u know.

 
Fact: BanginPanger is not meant as an insult to the one and only Darren Pang, nor do I claim to be him. The views and opinions presented on BanginPanger are of my own, and no other namesake of the site, the NHL, Buffalo Sabres, Washington Capitals, or anyone else.