Friday, November 21, 2008
Now with the return of Claude Lemieux to the ice, this really got me thinking, who would I want to see back beating up on the Panthers, Lightning, Blues, etc. Anyways, I thought I’d put together a list of 10 guys I’d like to see make their way back to the NHL, somehow, for any number of reasons.
Normally I wouldn’t have even thought of putting him on this list, he was a pest on 3 different Stanley Cup winners though, and that’s something he can hang his hat on. But he’s also topped 40 goals, and has 785 points over those 20 years, not too shabby. Still, a courtesy pick. He was with the China Sharks this year, yes, affiliated with San Jose, via Shanghai. I looked at the roster, hilarious, must be the worst hockey we'd ever see. If we ever get the chance to stream a China Sharks game, I'm doin it. Update: He's made it, somehow, he's made it.
9) Todd Bertuzzi
No one has seen this guy performing on the ice since 2004…heeeeeeyoooooooo. Anyways, this guy’s a douche by all accounts, and had some pretty nice years earlier this decade in Vancouver. Love to see you back on the ice Todd!....please don't jump me.
8) Scott Stevens
This guy, had he not been destroying the lives of so many people, probably could still be playing, albeit limitedly. But post-concussion syndrome, like many fantastic players through the years, ended his career. Interesting side note, he only received 4 elbowing penalties in his entire career, how that’s possible, we’ll never know. That picture is the least bad ass thing Scott Stevens has ever done; mouth kissing his own mother.
7) Al MacInnis
I remember growing up, when hockey was still on ESPN, and seeing Al MacInnis blister slap shots, somewhere in there when Gretzky was on the Blues. Another guy who retired due to injury (a detached retina? Damn) and the lockout season. A Conn Smythe Winner, Norris Trophy winner, Stanley Cup Champ. Come on dude, man up, put the eye back in there, and hit the ice.
6) Pavel Bure
Oh the “Russian Rocket,” kinda sounds like an imported knockoff sextoy? That’s funny. The only reason I include him on here is the fact he’s been linked to so many hotties, including but not limited to 90s babe Anna Kournikova. Let’s bring the Playa back to the Players Association! Eh? Eh? Eh? Yeah that was a stretch. Ef it.
5) Jeff Beukeboom
Haha, I just love his name. Who doesn’t? Interesting note: Shop.NHL.com sells Jeff Beukeboom vintage tshirts, what a find. Actually I don’t remember anything about this dude, I just like his name, and want that tshirt.
4) Alex Mogilny
One of my favorites growing up, especially after that 76 goal season in 1992-1993. He was one of the first players to defect from those commie bastards in 1989, and selected 89 in reverence to that fact. I know he was with New Jersey as recently as 2005-2006 but never played due to injury. Does he even have knees anymore? That might not be conducive to skating.
3) Mario Lemieux
Watch any Pens game, you’re bound to get atleast 3, if not 14, shots of Mario in the stands, watching over his flock. It’s kind of creepy. That and the whole Dad thing with Crosby, creepy. Anyway, in these panned shots, you always notice one thing, he’s pretty. No scars, no beat up old Canadian moustache, just a pretty boy. He can play, we know he can play, he could provide that secondary scoring for the Pens. Just sayin, he could do it. Plus don’t think his ego would allow another Lemieux (regardless of lack of relation) back into the game before him.
2) Theoren Fleury
This li'l bastard. Man, Flames fans don’t know what they had. They had a personality, it’s so hard to find a hockey player that isn’t humble or faceless or just plain boring (Crosby). This dude partied way too much, has Chron’s Disease (bloody diarrhea, vomiting, weight loss, I couldn't even make this up), and even had the name ‘’Crackhead Theo’’ while in N.Y. Right now he apparently runs Fleury’s Concrete Coatings, frankly, he should be running people on the ice.
AND THE #1 GUY I WANT TO SEE MAKE A COMBACK…
Oh yes. Zigmund Palffy. Best. Name. Ever. He’s playing hockey still over in Slovakia, at least he was last year. But we need him back. He’s potted over 40 goals 3 different times, had some nice years with LA. But we, the NHL, need Ziggy Palffy back. After the lockout the Pens signed him to a 3 year 13.5 million dollar contract, before he just up and left. Dammit Ziggy, come back. You complete me.
QUICK LIST GUY I NEVER WANT TO SEE AGAIN
1) Mark Messier
Mark Messier drank Red Stripe before it was cool.